Before I had Eleanor, before I even was pregnant, I vowed to keep She Sows Seeds as a country lifestyle blog – some craft, some crochet, sharing recipes and stories of farm life, I didn’t really want to become ‘a mummy blogger’. For some reason I had it in my mind that this little space of mine on the web should stay as it was. If it ain’t broke, why fix it and all that. Right?
Well, of course since having a child everything changes. And of course people tell you this, and of course you listen, but of course you have no real idea of what that means until you’re in the trenches of early mamahood. Sure, I don’t want to blog a whole lot of my daughter’s life (and my own for that matter), that fine line of privacy and all that jazz, I’m constantly treading it (my husband might say pushing that boundary a whole lot!) But after a few years of trying to pigeonhole myself into a blog ‘genre’ – whatever that is – I’ve come to the realisation that at the core of my blogging, my writing, my sharing here on She Sows Seeds…I am a personal blogger. Yikes! Light bulb! And I’ve just had a baby. And I share my life with my readers. And obviously Eleanor is a huge part of that now. And so I’ll write whatever I please, about Eleanor, not about Eleanor, about motherhood, not about motherhood, there will still be pretty pictures, still be yummy recipes, still be things I don’t share as well, still be snippets of farmy things even though we’re not ‘on farm’ anymore. But that’s the point isn’t it? Evolution. Moving forward. Change. It’s the one constant, that pesky change.
Last week I had a really rough day, bunkered down in our little farmhouse, the farmer boy was away up east working overnight, of course the baby wanted to be rocked to sleep for 20 minutes…to reward me with a 30 minute sleep. I stood rocking her, or trying to rock her thrashing overtired little body, in her dark nursery, and the knowing that I had a long night alone ahead of me, for the first time in my 15 weeks of mothering I cried. Not because I loved Eleanor so much, like I did in the early days of her life – I used to just stare at her newborn face sleeping and cry big heaving hormonal tears. But that afternoon she broke me, I just couldn’t rock her anymore without having a little cry to myself. I felt enormously better (of course), she went to sleep (of course), I shared a glib photo on Instagram (of course) and was flooded with messages of support from my online mama village. Mostly all thanking me for ‘keeping it real’, for not showing another bloody photo of a smiling happy baby, another pretty little outfit she’s wearing, a perfectly styled nursery. Just real, every day, early parenthood stuff. And I realised I should just get over my blogging funk of whether to bring my personal parenting journey into She Sows Seeds or not, just write whatever I bloody well like, not worry about how many flipping unique visits I get or SEO or trying to get the perfect photo for the perfect blog post topic that will attract readers or any of that crap. It’s my blog and I’ll do what I like. And I like being a Mother, and I like all the other Mother’s who visit here (and the non-mama’s like who I used to be!)
So…there you have it. Consider this blogging funk de-funked. And here’s a photo of my desk completely as I found it, crap all over it, to-do list a mile long, bills to pay, Eleanor’s birth announcements sitting idle three months after her birth, dirty camera lenses, a diary full of weekends with parties, weddings, stuff, almost up until Christmas. My house needs cleaning desperately, I need to cook dinner, washing continues to pile up, the baby continues to need cuddles with a nasty cold, I have the same cold and sound like a drag queen, my head feels like a bowling ball. I don’t need to be blogging the beautiful right now, or maybe ever. I just don’t. And that’s ok.
Oh Emma, how inspiring!! I sometimes feel like an intruder following along with you, from watching you plan your wedding, get married, travel, move interstate, fall pregnant, waiting with such anticipation for the arrival of your bubba, watching Eleanor grow, it’s such a privilege and I gain so much motivation, ideas, perspective from being included in your country life. I adore your blog, love your posts of gardening, the seasonal posts, the recipes, the collections, something did seem to be missing though… It’s your blog, your space, you share what you want, I will always be following. I’m no blog expert, I don’t even have one, have been thinking of it for a while though, same as you not sure about ‘that line’ but from reading many blogs I find the ones which follow a ‘formula’ as such tend to lose my interest before too long, it’s great if they can be mixed up a bit, and of course the ones which are real, honest & open, they are the ones I will be forever loyal to (hi babymac I love you ;)) thank you for keeping it real, it’s great to feel that balance, my lord though keep all the pretty and loveliness coming too – I love seeing your beautiful life xx
I love this post.
Thank you for keeping it real. It’s your blog so blog about what you like!
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Reading this in the middle of the night as I feed my beautiful baby on one of those ‘crazy’ nights. Sometimes I feel like a failure when I just read or hear about others ‘perfect’ little babies who just sleep well or eat well while mine doesn’t. And another mumma who can’t keep up with everything that’s going on all the time. It is like a breath of fresh air and a huge sigh of relief to know my baby and I are ‘normal’. Having said that I also love to read the beautiful, inspirational posts you put up, but I definitely agree of the importance of keeping it real!
Anne@Grit and Giggles says
It is good to be yourself and to write and share what you want to, it is your space. You live a country lifestyle, it is part of who you are and who your family is so I think that if you continue on your personal blogger way it will still be a country lifestyle blog, baby included. I love that you write about whatever has taken your fancy and that it changes from post to post. I love the photos and projects and I also am loving the Eleanor catch ups. Keep doing what you are doing!
I love hearing about your baby as well! I had noticed that you didn’t mention her that much some posts anyway, but please do! But blog whatever you want!!
We’ve all been there, where things are getting on top of each other with babies and small children. It WILL get easier, but that’s probably not much help at the moment. Take up friends or family’s offers to take her for a walk in the pram or do some housework , the washing or the shopping- give them a job if they ask “what can I do?”. People like to help. Make sure you get a shower and get dressed in the morning, don’t stay in pajamas all day, I used to put my first son in his bouncer in the bathroom to keep him in sight and sound, while I had a shower. Otherwise I thought I heard him crying when he was in the shower (he wasn’t).
When he got overtired and couldn’t sleep during the day, I vacumned ! That noise just sent him straight to sleep. (Or the white noise of the tv /radio off station.)
Does it help to wrap her firmly – some babies seem to like it. Good luck,you’re a great mum even if some days you feel a bit ragged. melindi
Babies will do that to you “break you” they are adorable but come with no manual and what works one day won’t work the next. It is normal but also highly emotional as a mother. Sometimes putting the baby in the pram and pushing it back and forth can free your arms and if they happen to sleep in the pram all night once in a while that’s fine too. The first year is beautiful but also tough. And for your blog it’s about your life, your hobbies and your baby is a big part of that so write what you want. When you have a baby your life does change and you have different priorities that you didn’t think you’d have before your baby. Blog about what you want it’s your blog. Regards Kathy A, Brisbane
Ps although I’ve always enjoyed whatever you’ve chosen to write about.
Yay. I’m all about keeping it real. So glad you had your little DING moment. It’s your story, your space, so what’s the point if it’s not honest and real. You can still do that and tread that find line btwern sharing and privacy. Mind you, some of the things husbands prefer to keep private (the funny stories that may or may not include silly things they do) make great stories!
It certainly is ok. Yay you 🙂
I am sure you will find this space more satisfying if you can really be yourself, not create some kind of online persona.
I love your blog 🙂 I have an 8 week old girl and I can identify with you a lot.
Bravo! I had a similar epiphany a while back. My blog is very small, tiny, and after being upset that it wasn’t growing, I realised that I write it because I like to. Now I take photos of what I want, post about what I want, and feel very happy and rewarded by my blog. I have no idea how many readers I have anymore and I don’t care. I write my blog for me.
We readers want to read whatever you want to write. Sometimes that is happiness and light and sometimes it isn’t.
For me personally, I love your blog for the very fact that you write honestly. I completely agree that the majority of your life should stay off the internet, but don’t be scared to share.