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Questioning

November 4, 2013 by Emma

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Over the weekend, this post from Beth’s archives rang like echoing bells clanging through my mind. Inevitably, it comes around again – the questioning, the disillusion, the wondering. We love what we do. We do. We have a love for the agricultural industry, which others not involved in farming possibly don’t understand. It is a huge part of us.

But…it would be easy to throw it all in. Go and get a ‘real job’. Work a 40 hour week. (Snort!) Buy our own home. Live closer to family. Actually see my husband. Not move every few years, searching, searching, searching for ‘home’.

Matt works hard. Really hard. He leaves before 7am, works all day often without stopping for lunch, and I’m pretty lucky if he’s in the farmhouse door before 7.30pm. It’s hard work. Relentless. Draining. He works most weekends and public holidays. All of this is fine, we don’t mind working hard, in fact we wouldn’t function any other way – but, at what cost? And for who? Working our own land and our own stock would be a different kettle of fish. I wouldn’t bat an eyelid at the hours Matt does if it were for us, but for somebody else we start to question. To wonder. What are we doing, where are we headed.

Buying our own land is beyond out of the question. So do we stay managing other people’s land? Do we look beyond the box? Start to think really creatively? Nine out of ten of Matt’s university friends with the same degree as him work off-farm. We don’t have to be on-farm to still be in the agricultural industry. Matt could work a ‘normal’ work week, be fulfilled and happy still being involved in farming. It’s the carrot that constantly dangles. The question always bouncing around in our mind.

And so we question. And wonder. And think. We want so much more for our life than what it is currently – we don’t want to be greedy, but I don’t think it’s that much to ask to see my husband occasionally, and to see him happy, to have a feeling of satisfaction in your vocation, to have autonomy and sense of worth and value. Is it? Happiness. Success. Failure. Satisfaction. All of it.

Round and round we go, on the hamster wheel…
Questioning. Wondering. Thinking.

Filed Under: Farm Life Tagged With: agriculture, agriculture industry, Australian agriculture, farming

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Mandy says

    November 26, 2013 at 9:45 am

    My parents both grew up on wheat farms in the Mallee. Up until I was 10 Dad share-farmed a property. We then moved into “town” to a 22 acre block with grapes and citrus. It was the only way my parents could continue working in Agriculture. However, 30 years later my Dad still goes out to his brothers farm for the harvest every year. Its in his blood and always will be.

  2. Andrea says

    November 23, 2013 at 7:30 pm

    I am by no means in the same industry as you, and neither is my husband, but right now I am asking the same questions, or similar ones. How can I take my skills and apply them in some other way in some other job, without taking a financial step back. How do you take a lateral step in your career that leads you to something more sustainable and more fulfilling.

    I am currently working a great job, but doing a full time load in a part time week, currently doing somebody elses workload on top of that and then coming home to a very demanding toddler.

    Was it always this way? Did people always work slavishly? Or are we as a culture looking for more diverse lifestyle and fulfillment?

  3. A Farmer's Wife says

    November 13, 2013 at 2:56 pm

    You are asking good questions Emma. We are on our own land and there have been times in the past, particularly when the children were younger, when I felt it wasn’t worth it. It has turned out well for us but there were some hard yards done by all of us. I honestly don’t think I could do it on someone else’s land.

    Interestingly I am probably about ten years ahead of you life-wise and all our friends who managed properties have moved out of that field. Several have gone into ag-based jobs in biggish regional centres and then purchased smaller parcels of land to live on so they have maintained some resemblence to farm life. It’s not a perfect solution but I think there are no perfect solutions! The main impetus for our friends’ choice was always children/educating children etc. Interestingly several of our friends who were on their own family land have also chosen/been forced to leave. Often due to succession/family/marital issues. I honestly think less than 50% of our social group with the option to farm family properties have stayed there. It is such a hard, complicated issue all round.

    I am sure you will choose what’s right for you both. Sending you good wishes for it all.

    • Emma says

      November 13, 2013 at 4:28 pm

      Thank-you so much for this comment – I’m not mad after all! We’re just a bit stuck…managing other people’s land is just not overly rewarding, and in work like this it really needs to be. Ultimately I see us doing what your friends have done, still working in ag and possibly having a small parcel of land to maintain the lifestyle. There is no perfect solution though. Especially when it comes to family farms, that’s just a whole minefield I’m not even going to go into! Thanks, E x

  4. Kate says

    November 6, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    Lots of love to you honey.
    I think you’ve got to spend your days doing something you love.
    This is it.
    xx

  5. Anne says

    November 5, 2013 at 10:28 am

    Mr Sparky’s Grandma is constantly saying she feels sorry for people our age who want to have a future but will never be able to afford it well not for a long time. I can understand your circling thoughts.

    • Emma says

      November 5, 2013 at 10:33 am

      It makes me sad, and frustrated, and angry, and depressed that this is the reality of farming these days. It’s impossible.

  6. Tricia says

    November 5, 2013 at 9:08 am

    It breaks my heart that we make it so hard for farmers to make a living. Particularly young farmers. I now buy most of my milk and meat direct from farmers so that I feel like I’m paying a fair price. But I’m kidding myself if I think that makes a difference. I don’t envy those questions swirling around in your head. Good luck finding your place. x

  7. Alli @ Ducks on the dam says

    November 4, 2013 at 2:55 pm

    Yet another post I have read on this topic (and I have one brewing too). Such difficult things to think about. It is so hard to survive in the country and have a reasonable job. Wheels go round and round. Hopefully you come to the right conclusion soon.

  8. Sally says

    November 4, 2013 at 1:58 pm

    Perhaps in writing this post you’ve already answered your own question, Emma? Honestly, from the outside looking in, it seems like a no brainer. Working hard is honourable, but at the expense of having and building a life of your own, of time with your spouse? And what about when you add kids to the mix? You wrote a while back about blooming where you’re planted, but sometimes it also pays to pull up stumps and plant yourself somewhere new. You’ve done it before and can do it again if that’s the decision you arrive at. Good luck and thanks for sharing your journey via your blog – it’s a fascinating insight into a completely different way of life. xo

  9. Fiona says

    November 4, 2013 at 1:15 pm

    It is always healthy to take a good hard look at what you want, and how you are going to get there. Otherwise you’d be giving in. It might take a few years, and a few changes of direction. Priorities change. Enjoy the journey.

  10. Kathy says

    November 4, 2013 at 12:18 pm

    I would have to agree, it’s one thing to love the land, happy to work 7 days a week but in the end if all your hard work is for someone else it makes it hard because one day you are going to pack up and move and start again. It’s not so much working for someone else and getting paid, it’s all the improvements to home, land etc. that benefit the owners and you move on. I can totally understand it’s a catch 22. Not the money to have a place of your own, but wanting to be on the land and it would be hard having Matt away for those long hours and whilst you are a person that can potter and enjoy your own company, weekends with the two of you are too far and in between. I agree it’s a difficult question to know the right answer. Regards Kathy A, Brisbane, Australia

  11. Amy says

    November 4, 2013 at 10:37 am

    Been there, darling. Not an easy head-space. We’re here to help.
    xx

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Hello, I’m Emma

I am a farmer's wife, green thumb, baker of scones, grower of chubby babies and giant pumpkins.

She Sows Seeds celebrates rural living and our simple country life in a little old farmhouse in Gippsland, Australia. Read More…

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